Love self....

Reading a devotional recently had me reflecting....am I honouring God with the way I think of myself?  My answer was simple, no.  God created me in his image, he loves me, he sent his Son to die for me, I accepted him as Lord and Saviour, I am his Child, so if I despise myself I am in effect saying I am not worthy yet he accepts me for who I am!!!

In thinking it through I realised my self loathing was not honourable to God, but it didn't stop the thoughts.   What I need to do is work to change my body, become healthy and fit.  Which of course is the journey I have now embarked upon.  The changes wont happen overnight but I have an assurance from God that they will happen and in the meantime, I need to try and think happy/positive thoughts about myself.

Whilst visiting at the hairdressers today I realised how bad my self loathing is - I found it difficult to sit down in front of the mirror ( a requirement at the hairdressers).  I will overcome this by achieving my health and fitness goals and trust God.  The devotion below spoke to me.

"Scripture shows us how important it is to think healthy, positive thoughts about ourselves. You cannot love life if you're always thinking negative thoughts. If you struggle with this, I encourage you to make up your mind to work toward changing your way of thinking. I've found the best way to become a positive thinker is to ask God for a lot of help, and to ask for it often.

That's really the hardest part of being set free from negativism: admitting that it's a problem and asking God for help. But once you do that, you can overcome it because according to the Bible, you're a new person in Christ (see 2 Corinthians 5:17). 

Many people are afraid to hope because they've been hurt so much in life. Their philosophy is: "If I don't expect anything good to happen, I won't be disappointed if it doesn't." 

That's how I used to think. I had encountered so much disappointment and I was afraid to be positive. When I began to study the Word and trust God to restore me, I realized my negative thoughts had to go. 

We need to practice positive thoughts in every situation. If you're going through a difficult time, expect that God will work things out for your good. As a Christian, it's time for you to fight for your thoughts, because your mind won't automatically come into agreement with God's plans. 

I encourage you to spend time examining His Word and comparing it to your thought life. Give God time to help you put your thoughts in line with His. He showed me how to be a more positive person, and He'll show you how to be one too. "

My plan going forward is to work towards having more positive thoughts about myself and to build my confidence in this matter.  Having set some goals I believe that as I tick them off, I will become more proud of who I am.

My short-term goals are:-

• Rejoin USQ gym and attend 3 x week;
• Do my regular run each morning;
• Give up coke zero - this is very hard!!!
• Eat clean by being organised;
• Do colour run in May/June;
• Do 15km walk/run  - Kokoda challenge.

All these will culminate in my second major goal -  running the Gold Coast 10km in early July!!!

Knowing how I felt when I completed the 4km on Sunday, motivates and excites me.  Achieving these goals will have me well on the way toward my long-term goal of health and fitness, serving God!

I am feeling more confident in my ability to achieve these goals I just have to get into action!!!

Progress and Success = Motivation

I am very happy to say that I achieved one of my goals today.....I completed the 4km Peak2Park Fun Run!!!  Most exciting was the fact that 3/4 of my kids did it too!!!

Master 5 (aka Joel) was so funny, he took off at a pace that was too fast and we had to move quickly to stay pace with him, at 2km however it call caved in "Mum, my legs were so fast to start but they ran out!", this meant I didn't get to run as much as I felt able but to have him finish with me was beautiful.  At about 3km he came close and put his arm around me and said "I love you mum" - he is a heart melter!!!  I think it was code for 'I am tired so I don't want you to run".

There were others who were an encouragement and motivation:-

• It was also lovely to have Jess, who sprained her ankle earlier in the week, running and encouraging the  younger kids to keep going;
• Jake, even though he had a very late night, got up and smashed it;
• Gina, who has  had surgery recently, was there and encouraged me along with her friend Shirley.  It was lovely to walk and chat with new friends, particularly at the start line as it distracted me from doubting myself & getting anxious;
• A text message from Karen wishing me all the best; 
• When I got back to my car I had a lovely encouraging message from my new friend I met via this journey, Ally.
• The encouragement on the photos etc. today has me smiling all the more.  

THANK YOU EVERYONE, its great to know you are all happy that I have crossed off 1 goal, the encouragement is a massive motivator.  In amongst the journey to date, I have also lost 5kg - so I AM A HAPPY GIRL.

I must say having achieved this goal when a week ago I truly doubted my ability to do so is a bit like finishing a marathon - to some it may be small but for me and the battles I have faced over the past month - its an Everest moment !!!  I must say I feel just a bit proud of myself and feel like I have won a personal battle.  Thank you LORD.

My next major goal is 10km in July, however I have decided to tackle another challenge in May - 15km  (in 5 hours - so I can walk)!  The exciting thing is I BELIEVE I can achieve both these goals.

What this all means is that I feel reinvigorated and ready to take on this journey with the exuberance I started in January (this had waned significantly in February).

A change in my head has also occurred this weekend (its one of those times), I read an article "Eden: a sex slave's story", (click on link to read) to say the story is heartbreaking is an understatement - what is did do is give me a perspective of a "challenge" that is totally out of someone's control.  It has had me thinking and putting my health and fitness challenge in perspective - this is totally in my God given abilities to control - those poor beautiful girls once they are trapped have absolutely "no control" over their situation.

Since reading the story (and commencing the video which is very hard to watch, I have had to take a break) I have been constantly thanking God for my circumstances but also praying for those beautiful girls and asking God what can I do?  I don't have an answer yet but something I did think when I set out this morning, I am running for my health and fitness, these girls would do anything to be able to run for their lives.

My goal over the coming weeks as I get back on track with my journey is to:-

• Pray for these girls every day I do my run, the more runs I do the more prayers going up for them - that is a motivator;
• Thank God for all he has done for me, be thankful for my circumstances;
• Pray for protection over my children and those around us;
• Ask God to show me a way to try and help these girls who are rendered helpless;
• Thank God for the amazing people he has already raised up who are attempting to help these girls - with God nothing is impossible;
• This is the hardest one - pray for the sick and sad people that do these crimes - that they will encounter Jesus in their lives and realise that they don't need what they are doing they need a Lord and Saviour;

Sometimes I do not understand why things cross our paths but I have an assurance that God does know.

It hard to describe how achieving a simple goal has motivated to tackle more challenges.  I feel great and positive right now and that I can achieve anything!!!  

Watch out everyone 

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH 

- Phil 4:13