Faith also plays a major part of this journey. My Faith in leaning on God to direct me is huge. The journey so far has strengthened my faith because God has placed people, verses, Facebook posts etc in my path every step so far. Thank you Lord.
Even writing these blogs I feel God guiding me because I sit down to start with a certain thought and before I know it I have moved into a different tangent.
For those who do read the blog, I encourage you to spend time with God and in his Word for it will assist In any journey you are travelling good or bad.
I am still having those moments of doubt, negative thinking but I have been consciously (once I see where my thoughts are heading) trying to negate those negatives with a positive, even if they are small positives. Surprising how many I have managed to find.
I had an entertaining and slightly indulging day yesterday! I dropped my Miss 16 and some of her friends off to Movieworld.
I headed to the shopping centre with my bottle of water and enjoyed window shopping. I realised when doing this how determined I am to change my health and fitness, I was drawn to sports shops and looked at things like new running shoes, hand weights, boxing bag, gloves etc.. This made me realise I am believing I can do it and more importantly I WANT to do it. After wandering for a while I decided to see what movies were available, chose The Book Thief in Gold Class and off I went. Wow gold class is a whole different movie experience, a little indulgent but it was so relaxing, I felt it was my little reward to myself for my journey so far. So I did have a little chocolate, but instead of feeling guilty (for a slight moment the doubts kicked in), I saw it as an "enjoy the moment indulgence" rather than a failure.
When I picked up the "Ninjas", explanation coming, it was decided to do fish and chips on the beach in Surfers. I could have thrown away the whole day but I chose grilled fish for dinner whilst everyone had traditional fish and chips 'another victory of the mind and actioned'.
Fish and chips proceeded to a game of "ninjas" on the beach. This is where I sometimes question my sanity, I joined in after some encouragement and coaxing. I had a blast, and it was a workout in itself . The game was quite simple in essence, however putting it into practise with competitive teenagers - insane. It was very hard to not become competitive (not to the standard but determined nonetheless), after two rounds of being out first. Anyway I had been feeling guilty that I had only walked and not done anything else, I think I did many stretches, dives into sand to cover a pretty good workout. I felt quite exhilarated by the end and about 10 years younger in my mind!
The friends of Miss 16 aka Judge Ninja, who I will call,
- Determined Ninja - so gentle and nice, but didn't want to give up especially again King and Warrior Ninja
- Clever Ninja - always made to right move and went about it quietly
- King Ninja - needs no explanation, kept winning, that was frustrating
- Warrior Ninja - didn't like getting out, kept the back of King Ninja right till the end
- Frustrated Ninja - was very kind and cute but the competitiveness meant frustration
- Judge Ninja - was quick to oust you and also quick to try and hold to account anyone who may have been trying to "cheat"
were so embracing of an "older" person being part of their evening and so encouraging of my journey, provided me many tips and encouragement, this really has motivated me. I will be running 10 km in July at the Gold Coast.
This had me thinking, (dangerous I know, that too often) how "life events and time" cause us to think that as we enter different phases of our lives we can't do certain things such as, interact with different ages etc for fear of seeming like - as a teenager it's nerdy to hang out with mature adults and as adults it's immature to hang out and interact with the "young ones". Mind you this wasn't my experience in my teen years but it seems to be Society's expectation in general.
Due to that I had doubts about myself, was it so stupid that I just had fun with my daughter and her friends, what would they think and say behind my back etc., should I just be the taxi and not interact? I had discussed this with Miss 16 on previous occasions, about how she felt when friends came around and I interacted with them and she had thought it was fine and she actually enjoyed it and thought they did too. So feeling brave I asked the question "Do you guys think I was a bit stupid playing Ninjas in the beach and having fun with you guys? Do you go home thinking OMG Mrs Smith is crazy?" Thankfully I received an overwhelming and enthusiastic No they enjoyed my participation etc. The questions and discussion that followed helps me believe that our young people did enjoy the company of adults and interacting with them in meaningful ways.
I think as adults we have a lot of life experience to pass on to younger ones, but we can't do it without building relationship and confidence. We also need to realise and acknowledge that the learning goes both ways, we have enormous amounts that we can to learn from the young, one of the key things being relearning how to relax and have fun. Readers who are older go and hang with a teenager for a day to have fun it will help you feel younger. (The next day reality will hit!).
I would like to thank the "ninjas" for a wonderful evening, I can't say how enjoyable it was to forget about my age and just have fun! Oh and I landed the tackle of the night......
"I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength."
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