Today has been mixed, good, bad, ugly but I come to writing this blog feeling I overcome a mental hurdle! Let me explain my day...
I was feeling a little lethargic first up so stayed in bed as long as possible, a bad habit I have because then panic was on to get to church on time (well I was a little late). Getting ready to go to Church (well most places if I am honest) is always stressful, I stick to the same things and feel fat, frumpy and more like a granny than a mum of four young kids. It's the comparison thing, I am surrounded by many beautiful ladies and I feel blah! Now I am being honest, no-one has ever said anything in a long long time to make me feel like that, the problem is my head! This is why I am always late - I then feel I can sneak while everyone is singing!!
Anyway once I got amongst God's people and we were praising him through song, how I look/feel quite honestly disappeared. I just LOVE singing in Church worshipping my Lord and Saviour. In that moment I feel worthy because He died for me! When I was meditating on these thoughts and feelings this afternoon I had a light bulb moment....wait for it....'God loved me enough to die for me the least I can do is glorify him by being thankful for the body he has given me so look after it! '...and when I think on that what other motivation should I need to get fit and healthy!! Easy to say and reflect on - now I need to action it!
Food is still a battle, running late I skipped breakfast and feeling tired and lethargic I got MacDonalds, although a small victory I ordered a wrap! I was feeling frustrated about it though and behaved a bit irrationally and got annoyed with my teenager and ended up not eating at all. This meant by 2:30 I was famished so I ate a banana and some Chico baby lollies!! As soon as I do something like that I start the whole bashing myself up mentality - I am not going to do this etcetera, then proceeded to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself!
Well thankfully tennis was on and just watching it and reflecting on some lovely encouragement I have received I decided I would do 1 hours exercise in the pool early evening! That is a victory for me over the negative thoughts - I am just a bit pleased about that.
Gave the kids their tea and off I went - good thing the sun was down and no one else around! A hilarious sight it would have been to see me do ab crunches in the pool balancing on a noodle - it worked I know I have stomach muscles! Exercised non-stop for an hour - running, jumping, swimming,etc. I feel so athletic and light in the pool lol ! Jess was warned to notify me if teenagers were going to come around because I was not prepared for that humiliation!! Must admit doing exercise under the stars and moon was spectacular! :)
Having completed the pool regime, the elation I feel is great - why I ask myself? Well normally when I feel like I have had a bad day I continue that path and wouldn't bother to do anything! A small breakthrough.
Back to work tomorrow so I am a bit nervous how I manage the exercise but I will fit it in!
Today I have realised this journey is cleaning up my mind as much as my body - in sorting this I am showing The Lord I appreciate what he did for me!
"Thank you for the cross Lord, thank you for the price you paid..."
It's been great reading your journey here! I love hearing people's stories and can't wait to hear how this one turns out, and where God might take you with it. Good on you for pushing through, and getting back on the horse quickly, after a not so successful morning. That is a huge accomplishment!
ReplyDeleteWhat I have learnt from others that I have journeyed with, that have had a similar struggle to you, and also my experience of my own dietary requirements and lack of exercise regime, has been that it is an enormous battle of the mind. If you (with God's help) can overcome what is going on in your mind, and you can quickly 'get back on the horse' after you 'fail', you will be a winner! In saying that, if you are doing all the 'right' things, (exercising and eating healthy) and your body is not shaping up the way you want, try not to get (too) discouraged. If you keep healthy eating and exercise as your primary goals, the rest should follow, but if it doesn't quite get there for you, you will still be a healthier you, and you will have achieved the most difficult thing, retraining your mind.
Do you realise that many of those 'beautiful women at church' are not necessarily fit and healthy?! If you continue with your exercise regime and healthy eating plan, you will be fitter and healthier than them! The other thing to remember, is that while our outward appearance can affect the way we feel about ourselves, what really matters is that we have inner beauty. It is so much more valuable than external appearances, and if women spent the money and time that they spend on the exterior looks, on their inner being, I think they would beam inner beauty and I think it would be hugely impacting for our society. I can see you working on that inner beauty, and it is such a joy to see.
I must say too, that you should never think that you look like a Grandma, because you don't! Besides, you have young children, and that will help you to appear young for a while yet!
Anyway, looking forward to reading the next installment! :)
Thank you so much Janelle, your encouragement is so very much appreciated. :) Have a great day.
ReplyDelete